


The Crystal Gems'... "Cat"

by AdrianaintheSnow



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Amethyst Meets the Crystal Gems Story, Cat! Amethyst, Future Vision Doesn't Work As Well On Amethyst So Garnet Is As Surprised As Everyone Else, Gen, This is just for fun. Please don't take it seriously at all.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2019-12-18 03:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18241865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianaintheSnow/pseuds/AdrianaintheSnow
Summary: The Crystal Gems adopt a cat. None of them know enough about cats to realize that it is definitely not a cat.(Spoilers: It's Amethyst.)





	1. The Appropriate Way to Adopt a Pet- by Rose Quartz

            Pearl warped back to the temple, her mind occupied with thoughts about a new sword fighting technique she wanted to develop based on some human’s she’d seen sparing recently. She almost didn’t notice the other gem who was hunched over something as she walked toward the temple door.

“Rose?” Pearl questioned. Uncharacteristically, said gem startled a bit, straightening and turning around to face Pearl with her hands behind her back.

            “Oh Pearl!” she said. “What are you doing here?” She subtly started to move backwards toward the door of the temple.

            Pearl’s eyes narrowed. “We live here Rose,” Pearl pointed out.

            “Oh, yes, right. I forgot.” She winced as soon as the last two words left her mouth. Despite herself, Pearl had to stifle a fond smile. For a gem whose entire existence was a lie, she sure had trouble lying about some things. “SoanywayIhavetogo.NiceseeingyouPearl!”

            As she turned away to align her gem to the temple door, Pearl shot forward and snatched the bag she’d been hiding behind her back, dancing under Rose’s arm when she tried to grab it back. When she was out of grabbing distance, she looked back at her with a triumphant grin. Rose’s mouth pursed into a pout in a way that almost served to derail Pearl’s train of thought before the bag moved.

            Their eyes met. Rose flashed her a sheepish smile. Pearl pinched the bridge of her nose. “Oh, Rose.” Bracing herself for whatever creature what in the bag, (she was really hoping it wasn’t a reptile this time) Pearl angled the opening away from her face and undid the rope that was tying it together.

            “MrrOWw!!” as soon as Pearl got the bag open, a purple streak shot out of it and flew through the air. Pearl gave Rose a look.

            “I found it at the Kindergarten!” Rose explained. “I couldn’t just leave it there. Plus, look how adorable it is!”

            ‘It’ was currently hissing up a storm, practically foaming from the mouth, it’s claws fully extended and its back arched. Pearl raised an eyebrow.

            “It’s just confused and scared right now,” Rose defended. “Here, I’ll calm it down.” When she took a step closer to the cat, it immediately started freaking out even more. Trapped between Rose and a rock wall it started hopping around in agitation, flipping off the wall a couple of times and screeching. “It’s okay, little one,” Rose cooed to the distressed animal, bending down to make herself small. She reached out her hand to the panicking animal.

            “Rose, don’t…” Pearl cautioned, but it was too late as the cat lashed out with its claws, swiping at Rose’s hand. Rose hopped back a bit surprised, cradling her hand. “Rose are you alright!” Pearl asked, immediately at her side. She was of course. An Earth animal could hardly damage her. Pearl glanced at the superficial scratch anyway. The cat was still yowling behind them. She sighed. “Come on, over here,” Pearl said, leading Rose by the hand away from the animal, giving it an avenue out of the temple. It calmed a bit when they were a good distance away. “Go, on, get,” she commanded the cat.

            “But, Pearl,” Rose whined, unhappy that an Earth creature wasn’t immediately falling in love with her.

            “It doesn’t want to be here Rose,” Pearl pointed out. She waved her hand at the entrance to the rock cave. “Shoo,” she told it. It titled its head at her and then took a small step toward the outside, staring at them. When they didn’t move to try to stop it, it tore off toward the beach.

            Rose sulked for a bit once the cat was out of sight. Pearl rolled her eyes fondly. “I found a patch of blueberries near the warp pad on sector 16. Want to go pick some?” she said. Rose immediately turned to her, the cat all but forgotten.

            “Yes!” she answered, grabbing Pearl by the waist and picking her up. They didn’t think about the cat for a while.


	2. The Appropriate Way to Adopt a Pet- by Garnet

            Well, they didn’t think about the cat for about a week. Then, one day, Pearl walked out of the temple to a surprising sight.

            “Garnet?” Pearl asked. Garnet had been gone for a couple of weeks doing… whatever Garnet did by herself (Pearl never asked), but now she was sitting on the ground in front of the wrap pad which was slightly odd, but what was odder was the fact that there was a cat in her arms. The cat was chewing on the fingers of one of her hands, but it didn’t seem to be doing so out of aggression. It batted at her fingers with its paws, but its claws weren’t out.

            Garnet looked up at her from behind her shades. “Hello,” she said, casually setting the cat on the ground and moving to stand up. The cat purred and twinned its way through her legs before taking a step back and jumping up into the air, so it landed perfectly on Garnet’s shoulder. It proceeded to rub its face against the gem’s cheek, knocking her glasses halfway off to reveal one eye.

            “Rose found it in the Kindergarten and brought it back here,” Pearl explained, walking toward Garnet. She reached out a hand to try to touch it, but it hissed, though not as violently as the last time she’d seen it. She jerked her hand back. “Excuse me, I’m not the one the put you in a sack,” she chided it.

            “Meow,” it argued back, narrowing its eyes and swishing its tail.

            “Ugh,” Pearl scoffed, crossing her arms. “You probably have all sorts of organic diseases anyway.”

“We’re keeping it.” Garnet told her.

            “W-what?” Pearl said as Garnet moved past her toward the temple. “Garnet! We can’t keep it. If we let Rose keep it, she’ll think it’s okay to bring other organic things back here. Like humans! No don’t take it into the temple!”


	3. The Appropriate Way to Care for the Pet Your Friends/Roommates Adopted Without Your Permission-by Pearl

Rose had been overjoyed that the cat was back, though it didn’t seem to be as pleased to see her. Which, to be honest, was probably fair. Pearl had put her foot down and insisted that the cat was not allowed in the temple. The other two agreed eventually.

It only took about two days for Pearl to realize that, if she wanted the cat to live, it now fell to her to care for its basic needs. Which is why she’d warped to one of the human settlements and acquired some animal meat and furs.

She wrinkled her nose as she opened the bag and smelled dead meat. She wondered if she needed to find a way to cook it like the humans did. She looked over at the cat who was watching her from a few feet away suspiciously, it’s tail swishing back and forth. Well, she’d set it down and see if it ate it and if it didn’t, she’d find some way to heat it up. She put the food in a bowl and put it on the ground. The cat eyed it but didn’t move closer.

“Food,” Pearl told it, nudging the bowl toward the thing with her foot. The cat looked up at her and then at the bowl. Pearl turned away to wash the blood (ugh) off her hands, keeping the cat in her peripheral vision. It walked slowly up to the dish and sniffed at it, before looking up at Pearl. Pearl pretended to not be watching it. It sat back and reached a paw into the food, sticking a piece with a claw before bringing it to its mouth. When Pearl didn’t react, the cat picked up another piece of meat, happily chomping on it.

After cleaning up, Pearl pulled some wood and a hammer out of her gem and got to work on the structure she had planned. She began erecting a little house that would give the cat some more shelter then just the cave at large.

After a while, she noticed the cat finished eating. It trotted over to her and rubbed against her legs. She arched an eyebrow at it. “So you like me now?” she asked. It purred up at her and Pearl reached down to pat it a bit. It pressed its face into her hand. That was, admittedly, nice. She scratched it under the chin a bit before turning away to get back to work. It mewed and bumped its head against her. “I’ve got to do this,” she explained, not completely sure why as the beast couldn’t understand her. It made a chittering noise. “It’s for you,” she rolled her eyes, “stop complaining.” More chittering, but eventually it stopped trying to get underfoot and simply laid next to her and watched her work, its tail flipping every so often.

            Pearl was about halfway through building the house when she realized she only had a few nails left. She paused. That was odd. Had she miscounted? Ugh. She guessed she would need to finish up this part of the project and then go find more. She stroked the cat’s fur a bit as she picked up another two nails and some wood and then turned away, mentally reviewing her plans before going back to work. After she placed that board, she turned back to her pile of nails and… she was missing one. She had just counted! How could one be missing? She peered around the floor to see if perhaps it had rolled off somewhere.

            “Ugh,” Pearl said. She looked back over at the structure to see if she had somehow forgotten that she’d picked up three nails and it was laying there.

            Then she saw it from the corner of her eye.

“Have you been eating my nails?!” she shrieked. The cat looked up at her, its eyes widening. It knew, Pearl thought. Pearl held out a hand. “Give it.” The cat glanced at the hand, swallowed the nail it had just put in its mouth, and darted off. “Cat!” Pearl shrieked.


	4. How to Keep a Cat Out of a Place in Your House You Don't Want It to be-by Rose, Pearl, and Garnet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Anyone who has owned a cat knows this is an impossible task.)

“Oh, hi Pearl!” Rose said, sounding a bit surprised. Which was strange since this was Pearl’s room, but she elected to ignore it, smiling at the other gem.

“Did you need something?” Pearl asked, from her seat at the top of her waterfall.

“Ha, ha, no. I just came to see you!” she said cheerily, hopping up to where Pearl was at. She landed a bit harder than she usually did, splashing some of the water. It wasn’t exactly strange for Rose to come looking for Pearl, but something seemed off about her behavior.

“Is something wrong?” Pearl asked her.

“What? No, nothing,” she said, but even as she said it, her eyes widened on something behind Pearl. Pearl turned her head to look, but then Rose’s hands were on her shoulder. “Didn’t you just get a new sword for your collection?” she asked. “Can I see it?” There was a splash behind them and Rose winced as Pearl yanked herself away to see a purple blur dive over the side of one of the waterfalls.

Pearl looked back at Rose. “You’ll be seeing it alright,” she mumbled, before turning to chase after the cat.

“I swear, I didn’t let it in. It snuck in,” Rose said running behind her.

“Uh, huh.”

“I swear!”

Pearl dove after the cat as it started sliding down one of the waterfalls toward the center of the temple. It saw her coming and dove into the stream, swimming away. Pearl ended up soaking wet trying to get it and it still managed to make it all the way down before she could try to catch it.

It dodged away when she grabbed at it, tearing off toward the crystal heart.

“You stupid. Ugh!” Pearl shouted after it.

It hopped into one of the holes.

“Well,” Pearl commented, glancing into the hole. “It’s dead.” Rose frowned at her and grabbed her around the waist before hopping down herself, controlling the speed of their decent. They made it to the bottom just in time to see it land on a meditating Garnet’s head. She jerked up in surprise as the cat hopped over one of the lava vents.

“Rose? Pearl?” she asked closing her top eye and shaking herself before summoning a pair of glasses.

“Help Garnet!” Pearl demanded, chasing the feline down another tunnel.

“I swear I didn’t mean to let it in,” she heard Rose tell Garnet and then they were all running after it again.

They finally caught it. Well, more found it curled up asleep on the top of a crystal structure in a room none of them had seen before.

“You’re absolutely horrid,” Pearl informed it, carrying it in her arms and marching toward the nearest door.

“Mew,” it responded, yawning and stretched its legs. It landed on its feet when Pearl unceremoniously dumped it outside the temple.

“Don’t try to apologize,” Pearl scowled when it rubbed its face against her leg, purring. She sat down on the ground exhausted and the other two followed suit. The cat gave Garnet’s leg a little rub and then it crawled into Rose’s lap. Rose’s eyes lit up and she stroked it happily.

            “I hope your proud of yourself,” Pearl said to her.

            “I really didn’t let it in,” Rose insisted, scratching its ear.

Pearl rolled her eyes. “Sure.” After a few moments rest, she picked herself up off the floor and turned to go into the temple. The door lit up in reaction to her gem and it opened. Pearl was about to step through when she saw a purple blur dive between her legs and into the water in her room.

“Cat!”


	5. How to Play Fetch With Your Cat- by Garnet

            “Fetch,” Garnet said and threw a stick down the beach. Pearl and Garnet strolled down the side of the beach together. Rose had gone off to play around with some humans and there was no corrupted gem activity on the horizon according to Garnet, so she and Pearl had decided to wonder down the beach together. The cat had joined them on their stroll and Garnet had taken to playing a game with it. That game being, Garnet would throw a stick and the cat would bring a larger one back, and then Garnet would throw that stick and the cat would bring an even larger one back.

            “It’s going to be a whole tree sooner or later,” Pearl commented as the cat happily pranced up with a tree branch, complete with an old bird’s nest at one end, clutched in its mouth.

            “Thank you cat,” Garnet said while patting it on the head with one hand and taking the stick. “Fetch!” She said again. She hurled it a good distance away and the cat went running after it. “It is.” Garnet confirmed turning back to Pearl.

            “And I didn’t even need future vision,” Pearl said. Garnet grinned and then flopped heavily on the sand without warning. Pearl got dusted with a bit of sand.

            She sputtered. “Garnet!” The fusion didn’t respond, just put her hands behind her head and stared up at the clouds. Pearl narrowed her eyes and flicked her hand. The sand around them responded and a few handfuls worth poured on Garnet’s face.

            Garnet tilted her face to the side to remove the sand. “I probably deserved that,” she said.

            Pearl found herself smiling easily as she took a seat next to her old friend. “You did,” she sniffed and Garnet chuckled. This was nice. Garnet had always had a calming presence around her and they’d known each other for so long that their interactions were easy. They had a certain dynamic that Pearl hadn’t enjoyed with many other gems. It was nice to be alone with her without needing to fight anything for once.

            “Meow!” Well almost alone. Garnet reached over without looking at the cat or the even larger branch it had brought back.

            “Fetch,” she said once more before lobbing it straight into the ocean. The cat dove into the ocean without hesitation. Pearl glanced to make sure its head popped back out of the water as it started swimming and then leaned back into the sand. She closed her eyes for a while, just listening to the sound of the waves, the birds flying overhead chittering to each other, and the odd scrapping and splashing sound? Her eyes popped open as she and Garnet sat up. The cat was dragging a large clear blue beam that could only have been from some long-forgotten gem structure. It pulled it up onto shore and dropped it at their feet.

            Garnet messed with her shades, looking surprised. “I did not see that coming,” she said bemused. “I like this cat.” The cat seemed happy with its prize, stalking back and forth on top of it proudly a few times, mewing in what Pearl could only interpret as pride.

            Pearl rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, it’s not that impressive,” she said. The cat looked down at her voice and then hopped directly into her lap. “Ah! Cat!” Pearl screamed at the feeling of soaked fur and muddy paws on her legs. She hopped up and it landed on its feet, even more smug, or at least that’s how Pearl interpreted the look it was giving her.

            Garnet chuckled. “But, I did see that coming.”

            “Garnet!”


	6. How to Keep Your Cat from Being Killed by a Giant Tentacle Monster- by Pearl

            It wasn’t exactly unheard of for corrupted gems to attack the temple. It was just frustrating. Usually, the Crystal Gems went out in search of corruptions to fight, but sometimes they followed them home or just stumbled upon the base and started rampaging. This one wasn’t much of a problem. It was a corrupted emerald who had grown sharp claws and teeth like an Earth predator along with a few tentacles. It was fast but was, by far, not most difficult thing to fight especially not with all three of them present.

            It was annoying however, Pearl thought with gritted teeth as it grabbed a spear she’d just lodged out of the air and snapped it in two. It lashed out and Pearl dodged, finding refuge behind the shield Rose had summoned. Rose unfortunately didn’t have her sword at the moment since they’d been ambushed on the beach. Garnet, meanwhile, went in for an attack but got smacked back. She landed on her feet a couple of yards behind them with a grunt, sand being violently displaced by her feet as she slid back a bit before stopping.

            “The back of it’s neck seems to be a weak spot,” Pearl told Rose as Rose picked her up with one arm and jumped toward Garnet as she dodged toward them to regroup. “Can you distract it?”

            “Sure,” Rose gritted out, planting her feet and pushing back as one of the tentacles slammed down on her shield.

            The beast reared back, and they broke formation. Pearl darted to the side while Rose threw her shield at the corrupted gem to get its attention. Another shield went flying towards it shortly after. It let out a mighty roar, snapping its maw at Rose and Garnet. Pearl was careful to be stealthy, as she moved around it, trying to get behind it. She saw Garnet launch herself off Rose’s shield to attack its head. It clawed and shrieked, but Garnet ducked under its appendages to deliver a punch to it’s face. It stumbled back, managed to throw her off, and screeched.

            If Pearl moved a bit more to the right, she’d have a good shot. She summoned her spear, preparing to strike, and then, out of nowhere, the cat was there. It hissed and clawed at the corrupted gem’s leg, angrily. The corruption turned its focused down.

            “Cat!” Pearl yelled in the same tone she’d use for it knocking over her sword collection. She flew to the cat and ripped it away as the corruption swiped down. It’s claws sliced right through Pearl’s stomach and she poofed. The cat dropped to the ground and immediately whipped around: yowling and launching itself at the corruption. However, halfway through the jump, the yowl turned into a war cry as the cat shifted into a humanoid figure. The corruption stumbled back under the impact and the gem landed on her feet. Still screaming, she reached up toward her chest and there was a glow under her shirt as she pulled out a whip. She looked at the weapon, startled for a moment before immediately shaking it off and launching herself at the corruption again.

            Both Garnet and Rose stared in shock for a moment before they both jumped forward. Rose dived for Pearl’s gem and Garnet lunged at the corrupted gem’s head right as the not-a-cat was poofed. Garnet slammed her gauntlets into the back of the corruptions neck, hard enough to poof it instantly, and flipped out of the way, scooping up the purple gem. She came to a halt next to Rose and handed her the amethyst gem. Rose took it.

            “What just happened?” Rose asked, staring at the two gems in her palms.

            Garnet adjusted her glasses. “That. Was not a cat.”

            Rose’s eyes flickered over to the fusion, her lips pursed. “Thanks.”


	7. What to Do When it Turns Out the Three Weird Things You Adopted Can Talk-by Amethyst

Garnet sat at the edges of one of the lava pits in the Burning Room, glancing every so often at the table they’d set up a few feet away. On it laid Pearl’s gem and an amethyst gem. Rose and Garnet knew the general time frame for Pearl to reform and that it would probably be a while still, but they had no idea how long it would take for the amethyst to reform, so they’d agreed to keep watch in shifts.

The room lit up suddenly and the amethyst gem rose up into the air. Garnet got to her feet and watched the light flicker between a few forms before settling. The amethyst landed on the table next to Pearl.

The amethyst blinked a few times before a whining, sad, sound escaped her. She seemed to know that the gem on the table was Pearl as she crawled off of the table onto the floor and stared at the gem, shuffling around anxiously and making motions to reach for her, but then pulling back hesitantly.

“She’s alright,” Garnet said. The amethyst startled and then turned to her with wide eyes.

“You can talk?” she asked. The Crystal Gems typically spoke a mix of languages amongst themselves: mostly a form of High Gem, a learned language, with a bit of Low Gem and some borrowed words and grammar from Earth languages. They rarely used Standard Gem (the default language all gems were programed with) because of its rigidity. It wasn’t very useful for much other than basic concepts and orders and lacked a lot of the vocabulary for the concepts they frequently discussed. So, Garnet doubted they’d said a word of it in front of her before now.

“Yes, I can,” Garnet said softly.

“I’ve never met anyone who could talk before!” she said excitedly.

Garnet chuckled. “A lot of people can talk. They just have different words for things,” she told her.

Amethyst brought a hand up to her mouth and chewed at her thumb a bit, much as she had chewed at her paw every so often in her cat form. “Oh. But, you can say my words?”

“Yes, I can. So can Rose and Pearl,” Garnet tapped a finger next to the gem who had yet to reform.

“Pearl,” Amethyst parroted and looked at the gem. “You said she was alright?”

Garnet hummed an affirmation. “Yes.”

“But most things get all bloody and stop moving forever when something hurts them like that,” Amethyst pointed out.

“That’s true,” Garnet said, “but we’re different. She has just retreated to her gem to heal. Just like you.”

“Like me?”

Garnet nodded and turned her palms up. Amethyst looked down at them. “We are like you,” Garnet explained. She squinted at Ruby and Sapphire’s gems and moved a hand toward Ruby’s but drew back before she got too far. “We are gems,” Garnet reached forward a finger to pull down the top of Amethyst’s shirt to reveal her gem. She recoiled a bit on instinct, defensive of the thing that was the center of her being even if she didn’t seem to quite know why, but relaxed when Garnet didn’t move to touch. She glanced down and then back at Garnet’s gems to compare. “What happens to our physical forms doesn’t matter as long as our gems are intact.” She let go of Amethyst’s shirt and frowned a bit as the younger gem rushed to cover her gem back up: a sign of not feeling safe or comfortable. Gems’ physical forms usually were designed to show the gem as it was uncomfortable to have them covered, but hers covered it up completely and it had been covered up by long fur even in her cat form. So, the emotional discomfort of showing it must outweigh the physical discomfort of smothering it for her. It was concerning and spoke of problems she’d probably have in the future, but for now. “So, Pearl is fine,” Garnet informed her again.

Amethyst set her chin down on the table, her eyes on the gem. “Good.”

“Oh, she’s reformed!” Rose said coming into the room. “Hello little one!”

Amethyst looked over to her, tilting her head to the side. “Hi.”

Rose smiled and put a hand on the top of her head. Amethyst pushed back into the touch and she must have kept the vocal cords from her cat form because she started purring softly.

Rose’s eyes lit up and Garnet had to admit that was adorable if a bit strange for a gem.


	8. What to Do When Your Cat Isn't a Cat- by Pearl

Pearl became aware a few moments before her form solidified. There was always something peaceful and refreshing about reforming even if the steps to getting there were decidedly unpleasant. There was a warm sensation that spread through her as her body settled into its new form in a flash of light. She took a breath and opened her eyes slowly.

“Hi!” she felt something launch at her and attach itself to her leg. “Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!” It exclaimed, crawling up her back. Pearl tensed, ready to fight, but noticed Rose and Garnet standing off to the side completely unconcerned. She caught sight of Rose’s hand coming up to her mouth to stifle giggles a moment before her view was obstructed by a light purple pile of fluffy hair. A face came into view upside down before her. “Hi!”

Pearl blinked and grabbed the thing on her head, pulling it off her and holding it in front of her and slightly to the side. It kicked and reached for her. She shot a look at the other two gems. Rose was too busy trying to control her laughter, so Pearl sent a questioning look at Garnet.

“It wasn’t a cat,” Garnet said. Pearl looked back at the squiggly mess in her arms.

…

Oh.

…

…

…

She narrowed her eyes at the new gem. “I had to touch human food and you didn’t even need it!”

The gem blinked. “Food?” she parroted. Right. That wasn’t a Standard Gem word for that, so Pearl had automatically inserted a human one.

“Dead organic pieces you put in your mouth,” Pearl struggled to explain.

“Oh,” the gem started chewing on her hair and Pearl crinkled her nose. “Food. I like food.”

Pearl sighed and used the hand not holding her in the air to remove the hair from her mouth. “Hair is not food,” she said firmly.

The little gem had the audacity to roll her eyes at Pearl. “Maybe it is,” she said sticking out her tongue and scrunching up her nose.

“It isn’t.”

“Says who.”

“Says… ugh you were already incorrigible before you started to talk!”

“Oh yeah, well you were already bossy before you started to talk!”

Even Garnet was chuckling in the background now. “Her name is Amethyst,” Garnet supplied. At her name, Amethyst shifted into a wolf pup and wagged her tail happily before a mischievous glint entered her eyes and she leaned forward in to drag her tongue up Pearl’s face.

“Amethyst!” Pearl screamed, dropping her. She shifted back into her cat form and landed on her feet, sprinting off and hopping up into Rose’s arms to hide. Rose took her with a chuckle, rubbing her stomach. The not-cat at peered back at Pearl, smug. Well. This was going to be something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this almost crack story. Hope you got some enjoyment out of it at least.


End file.
